Swimming & Trust

Today was Cletus' 1st day of swim lessons in his Parent and Toddler swim class at the local college. He was a hilarious mix of emotions. First, he was so excited to get in that the wait caused a total tantrum. (Note to self: DO NOT ATTEND EARLY.) Second, when we got in we were next to a little guy filled with fear who started crying instantly. The crying made Cletus concerned that something was scarey and he started to cry. After seeing some of the other big boys in the class having fun, Cletus then decided this was tons of fun. By the end of class, he was free of most of his fears and got dunked under water twice without a single tear. Unfortunately when it was time to go we had another tantrum cause he wanted to take the pool toys home with us. The whole family, even Mommy and Sister who were just watching, came home exhausted and took a 2 hour nap.

I loved it. As I thought back on it, the poor little guy crying was all fear until his aunt handed him over to his mom and then he had a good time for the rest of the lesson. He was scared because he loved his aunt, but didn't trust her like his mommy. He couldn't tackle his fears without someone he trusted totally. That thought made me hug my little Cletus. I might not have birthed him or contributed to his DNA, but my little Cletus trusts me totally. When we got in that pool, he looked at me to know he was safe. And he was. Completely.

Every day I spend with my kids, I realize the key to love is time, not DNA. I spend time with them. I teach them. I change their butts and make their meals. I put them to bed and am there when they wake up. Biodaddy a great man and I love biodaddy deeply. This father's day made me think about as the kids get older where we all fit. Biodaddy is their father, but I don't ever need to be jealous of him because I'm their parent. I won't pretend I don't have an occassional jealous thought over their bond with him, but it doesn't over take me because I know Cletus gets into the pool with me.

Losing Myself

Today I am in a funk and probably just need to pour it out a little. There doesn't seem anywhere to pour it lately. Sun & Moon and I are arguing, bickering is probably more accurate, semi-constantly. The kids are well in need of constant attention. Cletus, toddler, is a movement machine. He is also in the tantrum stage where everything causes a fit. DC, new baby, is a new baby which means crying (colic) & pooping & barfing on me all day.

I think I had some crazy Sound of Music image of this summer where we went out and basked in the sun and froliced in fields. Needless to say, not happening. Instead it's more like, ok what should we do today? IDK. Various suggestions. One is selected. We do this for an hour and then come home. Sun & Moon and I basically see each other 24 hours a day and I think she wants to kill me in my sleep, or maybe while I am awake.

No progress made on the friend front. Meetup has yet to be any help. I shall blog on this another day.

I have no job. Insert existential crisis here. I have no idea what I am doing. I am not sure who I am or what I am supposed to be. Sun & Moon looks at me like I am impatient with the kids all day. Every time she does I think - Oh God, I'm the one staying home with them. Then I want to cry a little. I am pretty sure she does not whole heartedly believe this is a good idea anymore.

I HAVE NO JOB! I look at job ads occasionally. They are always the same sort of ad. It's the job I just quit and don't want. Maybe I should look for different ads and find the job I do want. Hmm, that might be the best idea to come out of this stream of consciousness.

The only thing consistent with my  personhood from 1 year ago is that I still enjoy Willow & Tara fanfiction (Buffy). I am pretty sure this goes in the losing, not winning column of life.

Stroller Review: Baby Trend Sit N Stand Double Stroller

We purchased Baby Trend Sit N Stand Double Stroller for the arrival of our second baby. Our toddler is an active guy so we thought having a standing option would be good for him. In truth, he's not old enough for the standing option, but he does love sitting in it which is a huge relief.

Ease of Use: Pretty easy. As a person who doesn't like to read directions, it's really not been too hard to choose. Sun and Moon did read the instructions which was helpful. We haven't figured out the stand part yet, but I imagine that is going to require necessity to learn. I do love how easily we can open it up and snap it together. It is very quick. Folding up is not as easy. The wheels have to be in just the right position to snap it together which is a little bit of a pain when you are trying to get everyone in the car quickly.

Weight/Size: Not too bad. I mean you are buying a double stroller so it's not going to be light. I am not exactly big in stature and I don't have a problem hauling it around. It fits in the trunk of our Honda and easily in the back of our mini SUV.

Functionality: This thing is easy to push around. I accidentally took it off road already and it didn't tip over (I was being VERY careful). Sun & Moon loves the part where you can hang the diaper bag off the back handle. The basket underneath isn't so useful cause well baby and kid above it so you can't exactly pull out things just cause you need them.

Overall, I like this product and consider it a good buy. We go out quite often and use it several times a week. As far as double strollers go, I am very satisfied.

Other Reviews:
Amazon Reviews

The Blog Brought to You by 20 Seconds of Silence

Who ever said silence is golden didn't know the half of it. It is ridiculously difficult to get 20 seconds of peace in my house these days. Yesterday the Cletus, the toddler, refused to nap all day. It was special. Today he naps and at the same time (equivalent to the sun and moon aligning in an eclipse) DC chooses to nap without being held by someone. Hence, I have 2 free hands!!! Clearly, I can't spend all of this precious time blogging, but I just thought I would let the internets know of the existence of this rare parenting occasion. Hallelujah!

Couldn't Be Happier - 4 Now!

The first year I blogged for "Blogging for LGBT Families" I had a baby on the way. The second year I had a son who wasn't quite a year. This year I have a new baby girl. Now, we are a family of 4.

Funny, I remember stumbling onto to Mombian and felt like I had found a real connection to this entire other world of families, a world my family really needed. In just a moment, I felt like we weren't alone. Sometimes the world can feel so big and disconnected, when I found all of these blogs with families like mine, for a moment it felt smaller.

Now here I am 3 years later and I barely have time to blog about anything. I have a newborn and a toddler. Life moves at the speed of light. The boy grows like a weed and the girl is in the first stages of life, meaning she needs us basically every second. As I speak, poor mommy is trying to burp out a bubble that has baby girl screaming. Did I mention I couldn't be happier? Two nights ago, I think I got a couple hours sleep over like 7 hours. I was a bit delusional and my wife and I snapped at each other all day. Today, she kissed me and I thought my knees would buckle - I love her that much.

Ok, I should wrap it up before I use all my good spouse points blogging. To all of us with a family, yeah for us, we crash the party of family values and make it a little better everyday! To all of you thinking about having a family, go for it! Holidays are Awesome! Birthdays will be Better! And well even days that don't seem like anything at all will glow from time to time. Maybe next year I will have a little more time to blog. Thanks mombian!

Read the rest at Mombian Blogging for LGBT Families